Rick Ross - Mafia Music II...

So yeah this video is pretty standard, it has that Rick Ross "please believe I'm drug kingpin" aura, rented cars, rented leading lady and a rented mansion along with a random Miami backdrop. With all of that said, I have to admit...this dude is winning. I really fux with everything he's dropped lately...so much so that I'm actually looking forward to hearing Teflon Don. As much as I like this song I really don't understand the intro when he says...

"Larry Hoover dove off the mountain top and turned into a golden eagle..."

*blank stare*

Is that like CO talk or fictional drug dealer talk for saying Larry Hoover got sentenced to over 100 years for murder back in the 70's? If so, he could've just said that. If not, any former correctional officers turned rapper/fictional drug dealing kingpins reading my blog please translate that for me....I'm so confused.

Random Pic: Kelly 's Wig + Elmer's Glue =

*sigh* Look, I know Kelly Rowland doesn't have as much money as Beyonce, but I know she can afford to buy a damn mirror. *Tries to remember the name of Kelly Rowland's last single* Okay maybe she can't, but this is where having a real friend comes into play, because they wouldn't let her leave the house with that shit on her head.

What?

You can't sit here and tell me that Kelly Rowland doesn't have enough money to buy a mirror and on top of that, she doesn't have one real friend. I mean c'mon. That's like being part of one of the most successful female R&B groups ever, then having your best friend who happens to be the lead singer leave you behind to pursue a solo career, while you make music that deaf people don't even wanna listen to. *tumbleweeds* *random cough*

Can you ladies please explain to me, what in the hell is the fascination with spending a shitload of money on fake ass hair that looks worse than your real hair? Where did this lacefront shit come from? I mean you can clearly see the glue outline...she might as well had used office tape. Seriously, what would you think if you saw a guy with his hair taped on his damn head?

...see how stupid that shit looks.

*sigh* Since they didn't make one for women with terrible wigs I guess this will have to do...

Mr. Really Bad Toupe' Wearer

Just take everything they're saying and apply it to women wearing these busted ass weaves and wigs. Btw I miss those Real Men of Genius/Real American Heroes commercials by Bud Light.

Mikkey Halsted - The Best You nEver Heard...

Mikkey Halsted...the name may or may not ring a bell to those of you outside of Chicago, but he's been on the rap scene for quite some time. He was signed to Kanye West’s label before Kanye was signed to The ROC. Back when he was signed to Cash Money, he taught Lil' Wayne how to rap without saying "Wobblely, Wobblely" in every song. Now he's preparing his debut album, The Photo Album (produced by NO I.D.), for its release. In the meantime, or shall I say the in-between time, Mikkey's dropping this mixtape and the the upcoming Dark Room mixtape in an effort to hold his fans over until the album drops.

Hosted by DJ Toure Stylz, this mixtape (which is a collection of old, new and unreleased material), will help you get familiar with the uncrowned king...Mikkey Halsted, "Get Right or Get Left"...

Mikkey Halsted - The Best You nEever Heard

Tracklist after the jump.

Intro
Celebration feat. Miss Criss
You Ain't Know feat. Ken Rock
I'm A Ryder feat. Uncrowned City
Grind Mode (Dark Room Preview)
Israelite Gangsta
Frozen (Dark Room Preview)
U Luv My Style
Whoa feat. Bump J & Skooda Chose
The Funeral
Collapse feat. Phil G
Words of Wisdom feat. YP
Revenge 2 [snippet] (w/ Jay iLLa, Rhymefest, Juice & Twone Gabz)
Got It Made
I'm The Man feat. Sly Polaroid & Cloak Hancock
Chi-Town Streets feat. Khari Lemuel
Papers Line
1st Class
Corners
Tired
Bang On Em
Just 2 Get By
Runnin My City (Dark Room Preview)
On My Own
Chi-Town Shit feat. Mic Terror
Dead Wrong
Till I Die
Can't Stop feat. Da G & Da Rock
Competition Is None feat. Uncrowned City
So Mean
KRS-One Freestyle
Ten Things (Prod. by Kanye West)
Ghetto Life (Prod. by Kanye West)
Piss Poor
Mattress Money feat. KT & Famous
HHG Freestyle
Mikkey Outro

WikiHow Can Help Lil' Wayne Survive Prison...

One morning, about 3 weeks ago I went to my iGoogle homepage, as I do every morning to check out things like the latest news via CNN, sports via ESPN and the weather. In addition to those things, Google includes a daily "How to" section that links you to various guides from WikiHow.com. Their topics tend to be pretty typical.

Guides on how to sew on a button, change a flat tire and train a dog are commonplace. Well on that particular day I guess they decided to shake shit up a bit and provide a guide on "How To Survive in Federal Prison".

Although I was tempted to read the "How to Make Hamburger Cupcakes" guide first (I'm a big dude and those sound disgustingly delicious) and despite the fact that I have no intentions on ever becoming incarcerated, I decided to read it. Considering the fact that Lil' Wayne will be starting his year long prison sentence on Riker's Island today, I figured I'd highlight a few suggestions made in this "how to" guide that he might find helpful.

For starters they broke the article down into four sections, Before Prison, In Prison, Tips and Warnings. Since there were quite a few suggestions throughout the guide I simply chose to highlight the following three...

Here's step number 2 from the "Before Prison" section:

Don't overlook dental care. That's because the choice and quality of care is much superior outside prisons. Certain treatments that you take for granted may not be available in prison, or won't be as good. After all, if you're in prison and you don't like the prison dentist, where else are you going to go to have your teeth fixed? It's not like you can easily find someone else!

So, if there's time to do it, consider having a dental check-up before you self-surrender, and get anything important fixed. Also, if you wear glasses you may want to have an eye test and get new lenses, assuming you need them. As with dental care, you've got a better choice of lenses and frames outside prison.

Seriously? A dental check-up? This is number 2 on the things to do before prison? Am I the only one who thinks dental hygiene would be pretty low on my pre-prison priority list of things to do. Look, I've had an overbite for 28 years and I haven't ran out and gotten it fixed yet (I might do it this year though, speaking of which I need to make a dentist appointment). But, I'm going to wait until I'm about to spend a significant amount of time around nothing but rapist, thieves, killers and homo thugs to go and get a perfect set of pearly white teeth. Maybe I'm crazy, but the last thing I would want to do is make myself look more attractive before I go to prison.

Okay Wayne, I'm assuming grills aren't allowed in prison so you shouldn't have to worry about attracting any unwanted(???) attention with your smile. Just remove any form of grills/jewelry from your mouth and I think that will suffice as a dental check-up.

Here's one of the "Tips" they provide:

Inmates who are homosexual are usually looked down upon and are ostracized by other inmates. If you are gay, you best keep it to yourself while in prison, because it will only cause you problems. Inmates who are unusually young or cute-looking may be approached sexually by others who are testing the waters. If you are approached, it is best to decline; you do not want to become the property of some other inmate.

Okay....let me get this straight (pun intended), they said inmates who are young and cute-looking may be approached sexually by others. Now wait a minute, isn't this the same article that told you to make sure you have the prettiest smile possible before you go in? Then they add "if you're approached, it's best to decline; you do not want to become the property of some other inmate."

Alright Wayne, you got that? This is very important information. Hypothetically speaking of course, if during your incarceration a 40 year old bald-headed man approaches you and asks for a kiss, make sure you decline his offer. Tell him "No", it's as simple as that. I know this may be something you're not used to, but if you don't decline he might make you his property and start calling you his "son"...and you don't want that...do you?

Here's one of the "Warnings" they provide:

This may sound weird and uncomfortable, but could be life-saving: If you are concerned about getting attacked, sit when you go to the bathroom, and take your pants off completely. Since many attacks happen when you are using the toilet, it's easier to defend yourself without your pants around your ankles, so you would not trip.

Soooo I should just get buc ass naked every time I use the bathroom? Damn right that sounds weird and uncomfortable.

Man, there are so many "pants on the ground" jokes runnin' through my mind...but I'll refrain. Well Wayne considering the fact that you're a "Blood", I'm going to assume that you're going to encounter some people who may question the authenticity of your Blood affiliation. Those people may include Crips, other random gangs or hell maybe even real Bloods. No problem though, as this should be an easy tip for you to follow because for some strange reason I don't think you're going to have a problem with taking your pants completely off to use the restroom. I'm not sure, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that your pants are never completely "on" to begin with.

Well, hopefully those tips will help Wayne as he embarks on his year long federally imposed vacation. Anywho, if you plan on going to prison or you know somebody that's going to end up there eventually and they just don't know it, click here to read the entire article.

New Fat Joe, Snoop, Rick Ross, J. Cole...

...Joe Buddens, DJ Kay Slay, Wocka Flocka Flame *sigh* and Game. Okay some of it's old, but as always I'm playing catch-up...

Fat Joe - Slow Down (Ha Ha) ft. Young Jeezy
I fux with this ish, which is supposedly Fat Joe's first single off of his upcoming album, The Darkside. He's always good for at least one song per album, but that's about it. Btw that damn Soul II Soul sample is just ridiculous.

Rick Ross - Veterans Day ft. Birdman & Lil' Wayne
and...
Rick Ross - Mafia Music II ft. Chrisette Michelle
At this point everybody knows that this guy is nothing more than a rap's very own colostomy bag. But he damn sure knows how to a hot song. Side Note: Give me a blindfold, a bottle of Italian Dressing and 15mins alone with Chrisette Michelle....that.is.all.

J. Cole - Playground
Listen to this guy....like...really listen to him. He's a problem. This is off of Exile's Elite's (Thanks for the correction Serena) Groundwork mixtape.

Wocka Flocka Flame - O Let's Do It Remix ft. Gucci Mane, Diddy & Rick Ross

I still can't get over this guy's name....is it me or does "wocka flocka flame" sound like a move from Street Fighter II?

Game - P***y Fight ft. Ray-J & Esther Dean
"I know she wit Reggie Bush/ but that was Ray-J bush/ she used to blow it, used to blow it like reggae kush" (c) Ray-J
So this is what you get when the lamest rapper on the West Coast joins forces with the lamest R&B singer on the West Coast. I have to admit, this is kind of funny...but they're still lames.

Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Rock Remix ft. Jay-Z
"I used cop Rob Base, turn it into EZ Rock just to stay Doug E. Fresh" (c) Jay-Z

DJ Kay Slay - See The Light ft. Raekwon, Ghostface & AZ
I may be one the only people that still check for AZ....and I'm okay with that.

Joe Buddens - 40/40 ft. Royce 5'9"
Not much to say about this. Royce goes in and Joe goes in.

Drake Covers Complex...

...for the February/March issue. *Late Pass* I know this was posted on other sites a few weeks ago, but once I moved back into my place I discovered that the water from the flood damaged my phone/DSL connection...so once again I was without internet access for all of last week. Anywho I'm posting this because I wanted to comment on an excerpt from Drake's interview and more importantly I wanted to post this track...

Bonus:
Drake - My New Shit ft.Von Pea (of Tanya Morgan) & Phonte

That Lil' Wayne/Young Money stuff is cool but this is the type of Drake shit that I love. I just want to point out the fact that this guy's ability to mesh well with everyone from Lil' Wayne to Phonte is amazing.

See video of the cover shoot in Atlanta and read what Drake had to say about fellow up and coming rappers J. Cole, Wale and KiD CuDi after the jump.

Excerpt From Complex Interview...
Interviewer: Around the time that Kanye directed “Best I Ever Had,” it seemed like there was strife between your camp and Cudi’s camp because Kanye was so enamored of you while Cudi’s project was being worked on.

Drake: I wasn’t aware of that. Even so, I could understand. If Wayne were to be enamored—which is a great word—of another young artist, I would be like, “Damn, I’m here too!” But at the same time, it happens in more than one situation. It happens with ‘Ye, and I have a great relationship with Jay, and Jay’s got Wale and J. Cole, who’s one of my favorite dudes rapping right now. I’ve happened to have had more success. I made the most money, I have number-one records, those guys don’t have that shit. And it’s just facts, it’s not even my feelings or that I feel I’m more talented. That’s what the game is about, making great music that earns profit. When it comes to my relationship with the new dudes, I’m just excited for them. I get to sit back in a cool position and be like, “Yo, I’m excited to see you do it now because I know what it’s like, it’s gonna be so much fun for you…”

Interviewer: You feel like you’re at the finish line?

Drake: I’m at the starting line. Those guys are at home, putting on their tracksuits, getting ready to make their attack. When J. Cole gets it super-right, I think he’s gonna have a place as a Nas-type character who really stands for hip-hop, but still makes ill records that everybody fucks with.

*sigh* I already know that the part of his comment that's underlined is going to rub people the wrong way. Look I'm a fan of Wale, J. Cole and Drake...and I'm anticipating hearing J. Cole's debut album just as much as Drake's (if not more). I've never heard Drake come off as arrogant in an interview, but this could be easily seen as that. I don't think there's any denying the fact that Drake's the most successful out of the three at this point. Hell, the guy was been nominated for a Grammy....for a mixtape song. But like they say, it's not what you say, it's how you say it and I think he could've said that differently.

Also, I don't understand what he means by "when J. Cole gets it super right". Correct me if I'm wrong but J. Cole has released two well received mixtapes and he has more of a buzz than Drake had when he released Comeback Season (Drake's 2nd mixtape).....so what does he need to do to "get it super right"? Start singing in autotune?

Head over to Complex to read the rest of the interview.

Behind The Scenes of Drake's Cover Shoot...

Flavor Flav - I'll Never Let You Go...

I'd like to dedicate this video to my love for blogging...


Yeah....that just happened. This video actually came out last year and somehow I managed to miss it.

I swear the first time I saw this I just sat there waiting.... waiting.... and waiting for some type of 1-800 number to scroll across the bottom of the screen. This shit is sad...at any moment I was expecting a fly to come and rest on his left eye. I just figured this had to be a cry for help, some type of infomercial asking for donations for Flavor Flav since Ray-J came and took his spot as VH1's ace boon COON.

Anywho, I've been MIA (no "Paper Planes") for damn near two weeks due to a lack of internet access...but I'm back. So run and tell your peoples they can start back to checking the site on the regular.