Monday, August 24, 2009

I Respect A Woman...

...but this B!#ch is crazy.

Okay, so about a month ago Kelis was awarded $55,000 per month in child and spousal support from Nas. Remember how everybody thought that was just ridiculous? Well in the words of Sticky Fingaz "But, but, but, but wait it gets worse!" Last week it was revealed that court documents were recently filed by Kelis' team of lawyers, in which they reviewed the earnings of both Nas and Kelis and decided that Nas should just remove his balls and hand them over to Kelis.

Oh yeah, they also pulled a ton of numbers out of their ass and determined the following...

1.) Nas pulls in $244,826 a month.
How I don't know...tour money must be the ish. Btw he sucked at the Rocked The Bells tour here in Chicago...I literally fell asleep for a few minutes during his performance.

2.) Kelis pulls in $13,744 a month.
How I don't know...no seriously.....I'm really trying to figure out how.

3.) Kelis should get child support totaling $17,225 a month.
Huh!?! It's a fuckin' baby! I'm a grown ass man and I don't need that much money per month to survive...if I did I would've been dead a long time ago because I damn sure don't make it.

4.) Kelis should get spousal support totaling $72,728.
No, Kelis should get a fuckin' job. You greedy low down dirty stank ass B!#ch. That is all.

5.) Nas should pay retro child support totaling $29,522.
Okay this is just getting stupid. The child was just born a few months ago...he doesn't even eat solid food yet!! His diet consist of milk. Fuckin' milk...maybe some apple sauce or other saucy form of baby food.

6.) Nas should pay retro spousal support totaling $281,571.
Now at this point she needs to hire some serious security. She's just crossed into the "I might as well kill this B!#ch" zone. I'm sure Nas is pricing out hitman right now. Damn near $300,000 in retro spousal support!?! He could have her professionally killed 3 times for that amount of money....not that I would support that.

Oh well, I guess you can add this to Kelis' playlist...
Calloway - I Wanna Be Rich
I'm sure this is the song that plays when her alarm clock goes off every morning.

5 comments:

Mr. 1derful said...

laughing...literally DYING laughing at this!
"Maybe other saucy forms of food..." HAHAHAHAHA

iLLaNOise said...

I WANT MONEY LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY LMMFAO

Tania Gordeaux said...

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Word on the street is that Nas was on that creep ish...so...had there been no creepin', there'd be no divorce, and no child support case to boot. Bang Bang.

Doza said...

@ FlyyScience - If Nas was out there cheating, then so be it...he was wrong and as a result she divorced him.

She was then awarded $55,000 a month to take care of herself and their child. Instead of movin' on with her life and what's left of her career, she's coming back for more money. That child isn't a lottery ticket...she's going to end up like 50's baby mama and get less money than she was originally awarded if she keeps this up. The courts will start to see it for what it is....GREED.

"It's impossible to get ahead, when your focus is on getting even."

Unknown said...

doza... your blog is the fawking best homie!!! whenever i need some asshole comment laughter i come here... classic!!!