Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Ain't Nothing Like A Brooklyn Girl...

...with a raspy voice and a right hook.


This past weekend the internet was buzzin' about this video of Charles Hamilton catchin' a mouth shot from his ex-girlfriend Briana Latrise. I respect the fact that Charles was man enough to exercise self-control and not lay her ass out. Gettin' hit like that...it's just a natural reflex to throw a punch back, but he showed restraint and respect for himself by not putting his hands on a woman (unlike another a rapper). The fact that she could probably beat his ass might've had something to do with him not hitting her back. Nonetheless, I respect the way he handled the situation.

Movin' on, I have to say I'm glad she popped his ass in the mouth, simply because I don't like him. Hence, I present...

5 Reasons To Punch Charles Hamilton In The Face...

5.) He's Overrated.
I don't understand why there's so much hype surrounding this guy. When it comes to rapping he's like the smartest dumb kid...he's a really good average rapper. I mean anytime a person with a record deal drops over 15 mixtapes in the span of a year, has one semi-commercial hit ("Brooklyn Girls", which I really fux wit) and plans on giving away their first official album for free because they know nobody's going to buy it...it's time to move on.

I mean wtf could he possibly have left to say that we haven't already heard? It really doesn't matter because to be honest, you can probably rap better than Charles. Even his own fans can go toe-to-toe with him...




4.) He's Blames Soulja Boy For His Lack of Success.
Last year Charles said that Soulja Boy's huge success, through a variety of internet marketing techniques, has hindered the success of other up-and-coming artist. Now the way he expresses himself, referring to his use of 'Sonic The Hedgehog', is viewed as a gimmick.

"Don't compare me to somebody who made a great marketing ploy when I'm just living my life regular...it's because of Soulja Boy that the way I live, the 'Sonic the Hedgehog' shit that's dead real to me, is considered a joke,"

When I first read this I thought to myself, either this guy is a complete idiot or a bonafide psychopath. Starting with the notion that he's a complete idiot. Soulja Boy's success has absolutely nothing to do with Charles' success. Fact: people are gonna buy your music or they're not...it's that simple. For example, when I was in high school I listened to Master P (don't judge me, you've done things that you're not particularly proud of too) and I listened to The Pharcyde, two completely different types of music, both rap, both different. I know it's pretty crazy, the whole idea of free will allows us to not only like, but also purchase more than one type of music.

While Soulja Boy has said some dumb shit in the past, he was dead on with his response to Charles...

"I'd rather take the positive route and not get into beef, and just let you know that it's not my fault that whatever you got going on ain't going right. You're going to have to go back to the drawing board, get the magic marker, X out the 'Sonic' and you might want to fuck with 'Mario.' If my next album flops, do you think I'm going to be like, 'Man, it's Lil Wayne's fault. It's T.I.'s fault.' Nah, nigga, it's my fault."

Oh and the 'Sonic' thing, it's considered a joke because no one wants to really believe that a grown ass man takes a video game character that serious. But that ties into the idea that he's a bonafide psychopath, which I'll touch on in a minute.


3.) He Wears Stuffed Animals As Accessories.
Just look at the video of him getting punched...he has the Pink Panther wrapped around his right arm. He's 21 yrs old. Doesn't anybody else see anything wrong with that? If you don't, go and find any little boy and ask him to wear a stuffed Pink Panther around his arm for a day without any explanation. One of two things are going to happen:

A. He'll happily wear it and ask if you've seen Beyonce's latest video for "Ego". Chances are you asked this little boy...



B. If it's any boy besides that one, he'll say 'Hell No'.


2.) He's A Furvert.
This is the part where I touch on him being a bonafide psychopath. If you recall, this grown ass man referred to "the 'Sonic the Hedgehog' shit" as "the way that he lives" and it being "dead real to him".

Maybe I missed something, but since when did video game characters represent a way of life?

Anyone who's somewhat familiar with Mr. Hamilton knows of his unusual fascination with 'Sonic The Hedgehog'. Sonic unwillingly serves as Charles' unofficial mascot and for him to be a rapper that's just lame. Look, I played 'Sonic' just like every other kid growing up during the SEGA era, but damn...let it go man, just let it go. If he was 12yrs old I'd understand...he's 21. I mean he likes Sonic so much, I can only assume that he either worships 'Sonic' like a God or he wants to have "relations" with him....it's probably both, which are equally disturbing. That would make him some kind of 'Sonic the Hedgehog' cult leader/Furvert. Just in case you don't know what a furvert is...

A Furvert, a portmanteau of the words fur and pervert, is a term for someone who is sexually aroused by the artwork, stories, or similar media of furry animals.

At this point, it should be illegal for him to own or even come in contact with a hedgehog.


1.) He Battles Ex-Girlfriends.
What kind of rapper seriously tries to battle their ex-girlfriend? I mean she said her little Blackberry rap/poem and instead of just brushing it off and and laughing at her, he really tried to get at her. He brought up shit that was wayyyy too personal....hittin' raw and her gettin' an abortion are some things he could've easily left out. But nope, he wanted to be an asshole and say some obviously hurtful shit...lame.


Btw, shout out to Serena for puttin' me on to Briana's blog. Check it out at www.brianalatrise.blogspot.com.

2 comments:

serena_love said...

I learned a new word! portmanteau! Negro were you in AP English??

Doza said...

I take it you already knew the word "Furvert" then? LOL

I can't front, I just learned "portmanteau" a few weeks ago and I've been wanting to use it ever since. (Damn...I sound like a real nerd)